Is the Cybertruck Really That Bad?

Tesla Cybertruck

The Tesla Cybertruck has been turning heads since its 2022 debut—not always for the right reasons. Between questionable design choices, functional failures, and a never-ending list of quirks, this so-called “futuristic” truck has had no shortage of critics. But in recent months, headlines have gone from eyebrow-raising to flat-out facepalming.

From one getting fished out of Ventura Harbor after a failed boat ramp attempt to deliveries being halted due to body panels literally falling off, it’s time we cut through the hype.

So, is the Cybertruck just misunderstood? Or is it genuinely a terrible vehicle?

Spoiler alert: it’s really terrible.

The Design: A DeLorean Dumpster Baby

Let’s start with the obvious. The Cybertruck’s design is... bold. Tesla may call it futuristic, but it’s more like “Microsoft Paint circa 1995.” It’s as if a DeLorean and a dumpster had a one-night stand and this is what rolled out of the alley.

Inside? The minimalist vibe goes from clean to clinically boring. Aside from an 18.5-inch touchscreen and a few comfort features, the cabin is a slab of uninspired nothing.

Oh, and the yoke steering wheel? Cool in Formula 1. Laughably impractical in a 6,800-pound truck. Trying to do a three-point turn with it is like arm wrestling a robot.

And rear visibility? Forget it. That sleek tonneau cover blocks your view entirely, leaving you at the mercy of backup cameras—until they get dirty.

Stainless Steel: Great for Kitchens, Awful for Cars

Using stainless steel for a truck body sounds strong and futuristic—until you realize no one else does it because it’s heavy, hard to shape, and a nightmare to repair.

• Dents? You’re replacing full panels, not popping them out.

• Scratches? They show up worse than acne on prom night.

• Cleaning? You can’t ceramic coat it, and you sure as hell can’t take it through a car wash.

Detailers hate these things. Fingerprints, bug guts, tree sap—nothing comes off easily. And that beautiful bare steel? It’s prone to surface oxidation that looks suspiciously like rust.

Could Tesla at least have made it fingerprint-resistant, like my fridge? Apparently not.

Bulletproof-ish: The Gimmick That Shattered

Remember the demo where Elon hurled a steel ball at the Cybertruck window—and shattered it? Twice?

Yeah, about that “bulletproof” claim. While the doors can deflect a few rounds from a 9mm, anything stronger goes right through. The windows? Not rated for ballistic protection.

So no, this isn’t your Mad Max survival vehicle. It's a gimmick, not a tank.

It’s a Truck That Can’t Truck

A truck should do truck things. Tow stuff. Haul lumber. Load gear. You know, be useful.

The Cybertruck fails across the board:

• The trapezoidal bed shape makes it nearly impossible to haul anything rectangular.

• Tie-downs are placed low and awkwardly.

• High bed walls and no side step make loading a full-body workout.

• And that fancy tonneau cover? Reduces usable space.

I once loaded 35 eight-foot plywood boards into my MINI Cooper. That’s right—my MINI. Meanwhile, a guy with a Cybertruck at the same Lowe’s couldn’t figure out how to secure a handful of 2x4s.

Oh, and about that 11,000-pound towing capacity? You can technically tow that... for about 100 miles. Range drops faster than Tesla stock when towing. And charging with a trailer attached is a nightmare. You'll be unhitching every time you fill up on electrons.

Reliability Woes & Charging Chaos

Let’s talk about charging. Owners are already complaining about:

• Slow charging, even at home.

• Charging ports that get stuck halfway.

• Underwhelming range, especially in cold temps.

Even worse, Tesla recently paused Cybertruck deliveries due to body panels falling off. This isn’t satire—there’s a viral video of a bumper flapping in the wind on the highway. Tesla knew about this issue for over a year, yet it took viral embarrassment to get them to react.

Let me put on my shocked face.

Safety Concerns (for Everyone Else)

The Cybertruck did decently in crash tests—for the people inside it. But everyone else? Pedestrians, cyclists, and drivers of normal vehicles? Not so much.

• Its rigid exoskeleton lacks traditional crumple zones.

• In a crash, it transfers force instead of absorbing it.

• It’s 45% more expensive to insure than other trucks.

• The blunt front traps snow over the headlights.

And let’s not even talk about the ones that have spontaneously caught fire. Dumpster fire, indeed.

Sticker Shock: Not Even Close to $39,900

Remember when Elon promised the Cybertruck would start at under $40K? Yeah, good times.

The base model starts at $80,000. Add range extenders, “self-driving,” and a few options? You’re pushing six figures.

Meanwhile, the Ford Lightning and Rivian R1T are similarly priced but more capable, better built, and actually usable as trucks.

Final Verdict: Dumpster in a DeLorean Disguise

The Cybertruck is a stainless steel sculpture that tries to be everything and succeeds at almost nothing. It’s not rugged. It’s not functional. It’s not even that durable. But hey, if you want to host a rave in a parking lot or play a movie on your tailgate, go nuts. It has gimmicks.

It just doesn’t have guts.

If you’re looking for an actual electric truck? Skip the cosplay and look at a Ford Lightening or Rivian R1T. And if you just want attention, a used DeLorean might serve you better.

🎧 Want Even More Cybertruck Ranting?

Check out the full episode of The Straight Shift podcast where I dive even deeper into why the Cybertruck is more style than substance (and not even good style).

👉 Listen to the episode here

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and buckle up for more real talk about cars, driving, and the occasional automotive dumpster fire.