Are Robotaxis the Future… or a Rolling Tech Nightmare?

Zoox (Amazon) driverless robotaxi in San Francisco

There’s a moment every sci-fi nerd dreams about — when the wild technology from our favorite futuristic shows finally becomes real. And if you’re anything like me, raised on Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, and the original Star Wars (yes, I stood in line with my dad for hours to see it in theaters as a five-year-old), the rise of autonomous vehicles feels like we’re finally catching up to our childhood visions of the future. Kind of.

Enter: robotaxis.

Driverless cars that can show up at your door and whisk you away without a steering wheel — or a driver — are now roaming the streets of cities like Phoenix, San Francisco, and (naturally) Las Vegas. But how safe are they? Who’s actually building these things? And what happens when a traffic cone brings one to a screeching halt?

Let’s take a ride into the weird, wild world of robotaxis.

The Players in the Robotaxi Game

The biggest name in the driverless taxi business is Waymo, Google’s self-driving brainchild under its parent company, Alphabet. Waymo’s been at this since 2009, when it was still the Google Self-Driving Car Project, and it officially became Waymo in 2016.

Waymo currently operates in Phoenix, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and is testing in Austin through a partnership with Uber. Atlanta and Miami are next on the list. Their vehicles? A mix of Jaguar I-Pace EVs (which are classy, but known to be a little... temperamental) and Chrysler Pacifica Hybrids for the family crowd. They’re also testing the Hyundai IONIQ 5 and the Zeekr RT — a cute little electric minivan from China. How are they skirting the U.S. ban on Chinese EVs, you ask? By importing unfinished vehicles and completing the builds here, technically classifying them as “assembled in the U.S.” Pretty clever.

Then there’s Cruise — or at least, there was.

Cruise was GM’s big autonomous push, rolling out services in San Francisco, Phoenix, and Austin with the humble Chevy Bolt EV. They also designed the Cruise Origin, a futuristic pod with no steering wheel or pedals. Think toaster meets shuttle bus. Unfortunately, GM pulled the plug in 2023 after a string of regulatory headaches, a tragic incident, and a $9 billion price tag. Ouch.

Next up, we have Motional — a joint venture between Hyundai and tech firm Aptiv. Motional operates in Las Vegas in partnership with Lyft, using IONIQ 5s as their robo-chariots. If you're wondering why Sin City was the testing ground, think of it as bootcamp for robots. The Strip throws every imaginable distraction at a driver: flashing billboards, exotic cars, bike taxis, mobile ads — even Elvis impersonators. If a robot can handle Vegas, it can handle anywhere.

Then there’s Zoox, owned by Amazon (because of course they are). Zoox is testing in Las Vegas, San Francisco, and Foster City. Their long-term goal? Adorable toaster-like pods with no human controls. They’ve self-certified that these vehicles meet federal safety standards. The feds... aren’t quite so sure. California’s letting them test anyway.

And let’s not forget Tesla, which has been promising fully autonomous robotaxis “next year” since 2019. Their latest scheduled launch date? June 12, 2025. We’ll see.

So... Where Can You Actually Ride in One?

Currently, the best chance of hailing a robotaxi is in:

• Phoenix (Waymo)

• San Francisco (Waymo, Zoox)

• Los Angeles (Waymo)

• Las Vegas (Motional, Zoox)

• Austin (Waymo, soon Tesla)

Internationally, China is full-speed ahead thanks to high-tech capabilities and fewer legal roadblocks. Europe, ever cautious, has pilot programs in the UK and Germany, with wider launches expected around 2026.

The Tech Under the Hood

Here’s what makes these cars “see” and “think”:

LIDAR

This is the robotaxi’s vision system — lasers spinning 360 degrees to create a 3D map of the surroundings. Like echolocation, but with light. It tells the car there's a cyclist in the bike lane or a traffic cone in the road.

Radar

Used to track the speed and distance of moving objects, like nearby cars or pedestrians. Also great for adaptive cruise control — and catching you speeding.

Cameras

Mounted all over the vehicle to spot stop signs, traffic lights, lane markings, and anything else the car needs to identify.

Ultrasonic Sensors

Used at low speeds for parking and avoiding curbs — basically the car’s short-range “feelers.”

Artificial Intelligence

The real magic. These systems are fed millions of scenarios so they can learn how to respond — just like humans learning to drive. Only faster. The more data, the smarter they get.

HD Mapping

Robotaxis rely on insanely detailed maps of their cities — down to the exact width of every lane and the location of every curb. That’s why they can only operate in specific zones. If roadwork moves a few cones around, the robotaxi might have a meltdown. Which brings us to...

When Robotaxis Go Rogue

Despite all the tech, things still go hilariously — or horrifyingly — wrong.

1. The 4 A.M. Honk Fest

In San Francisco, Waymo’s robotaxis congregate in parking lots to rest and recharge. But their anti-collision software causes them to honk at each other. Constantly. At 4 a.m. It's like robotic cows mooing all night. Residents are... not amused.

2. The Cone Rebellion

Activists discovered that placing a simple traffic cone on the hood of a Cruise robotaxi renders it useless. It just freezes. Imagine: $100,000 in cutting-edge technology, defeated by a $5 part from Home Depot.

3. Robo-Blockades

Robotaxis have blocked emergency vehicles — one even parked itself in the middle of an active fire scene. Firefighters had to deal with tech support while trying to save a building.

4. Robo-Prison

A woman and her friends in Texas got stuck in a robotaxi that stopped on a highway merge lane and refused to open the doors. Only after threatening to go viral on TikTok did Waymo finally release them.

5. Circling LAX

One robotaxi got so confused navigating LAX, it just kept looping the airport, never stopping. Honestly... relatable.

6. The Tragic Dragging Incident

In 2023, a woman was hit by a human driver, and then a Cruise robotaxi behind that car ran over her and dragged her 20 feet before stopping. She survived, but the incident contributed to GM pulling the plug on Cruise entirely.

So, Are They Safer Than Humans?

That’s the billion-dollar question.

Waymo’s internal study — partnered with Swiss Reinsurance — claimed that their cars had 90% fewer insurance claims for property damage and bodily injury compared to human-driven cars. Sounds great, right?

But there’s a catch. Waymo has only logged around 25 million miles total. That’s a drop in the bucket compared to the 3 trillion miles Americans drive every year. So, while the early data is promising, it’s still early.

My take? Autonomous vehicles are like teenage drivers. They’re smart, excited, and mostly follow the rules, but they lack the experience to handle every weird thing the road throws at them. The more miles they drive, the better they’ll get.

And hey — they don’t drive drunk, they don’t text, they don’t get road rage, and they always use their blinkers. So they’ve already got a leg up on a good chunk of the population.

Would You Ride in One?

Personally, I would. The geek in me can’t resist the opportunity to ride in something that feels like it was built by R2D2. But I’d leave a little extra time if I was trying to make a flight.

Have you ridden in a robotaxi? Would you? I want to hear your stories — the good, the bad, and the “why won’t this robot let me out?!”

Share your story in the comments or shoot me a note at thecarchick.com.

🎧 Want the full scoop with extra snark and some jaw-dropping robotaxi stories?

Catch the full episode of The Straight Shift  here or wherever you listen to podcasts — because some things are just funnier when you hear them honk.